Monday, September 29, 2014

OH I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY (I think)

So you may (or may not) have been wondering what I have been up to for the past week or so. To be brief I have been thinking up my own theories about high school parties...  Of course this has taken countless (4, tops) hours of grueling and slightly awkward research. I am now ready to report my findings:

Teenagers are confused/confusing.

That's it! Right there! The answer to questions that have kept countless philosophers up at night.

My "research", however was simply me attending two very different sweet sixteen birthday parties. I was perplexed by how strange my friends and I are when we are put into a situation where we can either shine or disappear in the crowd. 

Not picking up what I am putting down? I'll break it down for you...



ACT I
The girl has entered the room. She notices the decor and quickly feel under dressed. However, looking to her left she realizes they all look the same. This causes her to fall into an even deeper pit of worry. Are there boys here? Besides the ones who barely see me as a girl? There are indeed boys there, the girl HANNAH does not know this yet.
*ELLIE: I like your dress Hannah.
HANNAH: Thanks! I like yours too..
This exchange is shrouded in lies. ELLIE does quite like her dress, but feels insecure about her own. HANNAH believes she does not actually like it and is only being polite, this makes her feel insecure.
The scene changes to a table setting. There are 7 tables set up in the area and HANNAH is sitting at one with other people. It has turned to dusk at the affair and all parties involved are beginning to become restless. The waitress keeps coming around with the same things! No one wants to be the first to get up to get what they really want, and heaven forbid lose a seat! People are sitting down and thus, picking territory. HANNAH is overcome with concern. Oh no!, she thinks, am I not good enough to sit with? This game of musical chairs ensues in the upcoming hours, but is never truly resolved.

...

ACT 2
HANNAH has been communicating furiously with outside parties. They are ready at a moments notice to retrieve her but she keeps telling them she is fine. She has begun to have fun! There is dancing. But, there is a dilemma. 3 BOYS have appeared. They make this process of enjoyment much more complicated. They are watching and choosing.  She has begun to dance at the fringe of the circle. 
Much is going on inside the circle that HANNAH is not comfortable with. BOYS look on. And...
*SANDRA: Come on Hannah! Let's dance!
HANNAH: Okay
She begins to do so at the first sign of a line dance. Most everyone joins in. Young and old alike! Everyone is joyous, the guest of honor is pleased.
Much more dancing occurs and some do not like it. HANNAH is having a good time but cannot seem to get the thought of the being watched by the 3 BOYS out of her head. This makes her feel energized. She is conscious of her every move, in the hopes that she will attract a BOY. There is one in particular that has seems to be every girls object of affection. 
More music plays and just the right song comes on! EVERYONE runs to the dance floor. The DJ feels proud, as do the BOYS. They finally find the courage to break into this intricate circle. The girls begin to chant encouragements. A LUCKY GIRL gets the chance to dance with a BOY. They are quite close... HANNAH suddenly becomes aware of the grown-ups in the room. The BOYS begin to search for other girls to dance with. Some peoples advances are rejected on either side. HANNAH does not seem bothered by the lack of interest in her. She dances anyway. The BOYS become picky and reject all advances. The party is dying out and many people begin speaking about church the next day. HANNAH is finally ready to depart.

HANNAH leaves the affair feeling excited, hungry and confused/confusing.


Did that make any sense to you? Because it made ZERO sense to me!
Comment and tell me what you thought.

from Hannah,
with love

xo

P.S.- *means there name has been changed, for obvious reasons

Friday, September 19, 2014

My best friends are my enemies???

So I didn't post anything earlier in the week because I was in a frenzy of school elections, homework overload and a fly thing.

What fly thing, you ask? Well it seems that my school has been overrun with these tiny black insects. Subsequently, they have been keeping the rooms extra chilly this week to help this problem. And such chilly rooms (and my lack of a jacket one morning as I waited for the bus) have led me to have a cold! Infact as I write this I am sniffling, snotting and other less than pleasant adjectives.

Still, I press on. This week has presented me with that hard-learned lesson of  "these girls ain't loyal" because as of late, these girls ain't loyal. Now, I am not one to be anti-female (as I am one myself) but I am slowly realizing that girls of my age are not for each other...There isn't a sense of sisterhood and certainly no traveling pants!

I mean is it that ridiculous to think that girls that I have rooted for since the day I met them would be honest and upfront with me? I am starting to think that it is better to assume that Caesar's will always have a Brutus who are ready to go in for the kill...

ON A LIGHTER NOTE... I didn't win my election and I am more thank okay with that, because I will have more time to do things that I want to do. 

And I'm not bitter, I promise.

No honestly though, I need to focus on my writing and reaching a goal that I set two years ago.

AIN'T NO STOPPIN' ME NOW, I'M ON THE MOVE!

I also am going to post some photography on here... what do you think? Let me know in the comments, I wanna conversate with all of you!


from Hannah,
with love

xo

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Lean on me (because I'm scared)

I'm gonna be real with y'all* for a second, okay?

I depend upon others way too much.

I have given up the opportunity to do something pretty fun because I didn't have someone to go with. And by that I mean I was overcome with chronic teenage-wolf-pack-mentality, AKA I was too afraid to do something without a buddy.

Pathetic? Not really, at least not in my opinion, because as a high-schooler I have this unwavering need to be a part of something. Even though I like to think I have enough self-confidence to fly me to the moon, most days I barely have enough to get out of bed. That being said, having someone to walk with in the hallways or eat lunch with can make life a heck of a lot easier.

So, every now and then when that security blanket of companionship isn't guaranteed I cower! And I ruin really great opportunities! Imagine that!!!

Now I know, I know I should not let others actions dictate my own. I'm working on it. But, it takes me a long time to get around to doing things (e.g. I STILL have yet to see The Fault in our Stars)

Oh well, all great things must simmer, not boil*.

from Hannah,
with love

xo

*It's the southerner in me talking, I'm sorry
*I made that saying up but it sounds pretty good, huh?

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Do whatever you love

I have always been the kind of person who does things out of necessity. Or to please someone else, and maybe that is because of the way I was raised? To always understand the biggest goal is to be successful. And to be successful I have to go to college, to go to college (with an honorable scholarship) I have to graduate in the top 10 of my high school class, to graduate in the top 10 I have to study... so on and so forth.

Lately, I have been figuring out what it is that I really want to do with my life (besides being a style icon, of course). Oddly enough some of the "necessary" activities I partake in have NOTHING to do with what I love to do. But, let's say I stop doing these things such as being president of a club (for smart kids), there will be speculation! From high school kids, no less! The same kids whose highest ambition in life is getting at least 30 likes on their latest selfie.

Most of the time I feel like people put me in a box without even checking to see that I am precious cargo! I need to be handled with care and one layer of bubble wrap will just not do. And when I ask my friends what they thought of me when we first met it is always one word: smart. I am never funny, fashionable, kind and definitely not cool. So every few months I feel the need to do something different or scandalous (is eating graham crackers in the middle of English a scandal?). But it usually ends in my frustration with myself. Like: why can't I be? Or, why didn't I? 

So the moral of the story is kids: DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY, because you will never live a full life if you try to live someone elses. K? K.

Sorry it took me so long to get to that.

from Hannah,
with love

xo